Chess People

I do not play chess. My sons play chess. I have no patience or interest in learning the game. They seem to enjoy playing, so we are currently in Orlando, Florida at the K-12 National Scholastic Chess tournament.

It will come as no surprise to hear: chess people are weird. No doubt about it. First, people who play chess cannot walk. Everyone is absorbed in some mental gymnastics making it virtually impossible for them to walk in a straight line, be aware of their surroundings, or change course. Add to that the fact that most of the 2000+ people here are kids under the age of 10, and you are running into people (literally) all the time. Second, people who play chess dress oddly. We have kids with Viking hats, Santa hats, backward ball caps and mirrored sunglasses. Yesterday I saw a dad and son dressed in some 1920s gangsta style. The dad has on a plaid suit and fedora, the kid is decked out in knickers, with suspenders, and a beret. It was like they stumbled off of a movie set. Lastly, many of the kids who play chess have limited social skills (fortunately, not true of my kids!) Last night my 12th grader was seated next to a young man and and his female opponent. Remember these kids are 17-18 years old. The lady asks for help spelling his name to record on her scoresheet. The young man spells out a complicated name. She asks, "Oh, are you Russian?" (lots of chess people are Russian.) "No," he replies, "I'm Polish." "Oh, can you speak Polish?" The guy says, "Alas, I do not." My son is rolling his eyes. What contemporary teen uses "Alas" in ordinary conversations??? Only a chess playing teen!