1. Start young. If you start getting gray hair when you are young, you have a long time to get used to the idea that you are aging. You have a jump start on other women. By starting young, you can gradually get used to the idea that you will go gray, then you will die. Facing this at 25 is easier than at 85.
2. Decide on what you will call your hair—gray, grey, white, silver.
3. Be frugal. If you are frugal you will decide early on that you will be spending a small fortune over your lifetime if you start dying your hair. If you are gray young (see #1) then you are facing as many as 60 years of hair coloring. This could start with “highlights” to blend in the gray, then progress to dying. You will need to touch up your roots. You will need to make decisions about changing colors. And, if you ever decide to stop, you will need to deal with the growing out period.
4. Use purple shampoo. Always.
5. Be prepared for compliments. Younger women (under 70) with gray hair will be stopped. You may receive compliments when you are walking in the mall. You may have men stop you on the street to comment on your hair. You may have women roughly your age, standing behind you on the jetway, tap you on the shoulder and whisper, “I just have to tell you your hair is gorgeous.” You may have women interrupt your podcast listening on the commuter train to ask you about your hair.
6. Be prepared for being mistaken for your child’s grandmother (by adults). If you are gray young (see #1) and have your children late, you may be mistaken for a grandmother. Shopping clerks may say, “Oh, how nice. Grandma has the baby today!” They may ask, “How old is your grandson?”
7. Be prepared for being mistaken for your child’s grandmother (by children). When you take your child to kindergarten, another child may say, “Are you Evan’s Grandma?”
8. Use purple conditioner. Always.
9. Enjoy the discomfort of clerks who try to decide whether or not to offer you a senior discount. Watch them squirm—is it better to err on the side of offending by asking or not asking?
10. Be prepared for women to say, “I wish my gray hair looked like that.” Truth is, most of them have NO IDEA what their gray hair looks like (see #3, re: coloring).
11. Learn to be assertive. When you have gray hair and think it might be fun to have a pink streak and go to the beauty store looking for temporary color and the clerk shows you to the root touch up products rather than the fun-glo pink you are looking for, correct her.
12. Enjoy the benefit of young men (sometimes) offering you a seat on the L.
