Safety

Some months ago, about September I think, I read an essay describing a young boy’s reaction to realizing that he was adopted. Although he had always know that was the case there was an incident when he was 5 or so in which he felt a great loss at not knowing his “real” mother. His mother comforts him and explains it this way:

“And in a sure sign he knows that what he’s hearing is correct, he begins to cry hard. In a little while I feel him exhale long and slow, his back relaxing against my hands that are holding him in place like bookends: Your body begins here, and it ends here. You are safe.”

Perhaps you can imagine that feeling, that you're emotions are contained, that you won't fall apart with the strength of feeling. As parents we are called on often to convey that sense of security, as friends and partners creating safety is the ultimate gift we can give.

I've been thinking about safety lately. We had an incident at school, that while ultimately not serious, had the potential to be dangerous. Contemplating how to handle an explosive situation makes you think a little more seriously about safety and all of its forms.

I don't see myself holding a student as they cry, but I have been known to pass the box of tissues, offer a pat on the arm, or lend a sympathetic ear. How do I make a student feel safe in my class? How important is that when I'm teaching statistics, anyway? Many students feel intimidated by material that they have learned to fear, that is to say, anything involving numbers. They doubt their own abilities, they lack confidence. They need to think that any question will be treated with respect and answered with dignity. They need to feel that I won't laugh at them, shake my head, arch my eyes.

Offering safety is something we can think of doing every day in all of our interactions.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/05/magazine/05Lives-t.html