Siblings

There are interestings studies of birth order, how one's position in the family influences personality, achievement, and temperment. I used to think that variation in a family was a function of family size, after all, the more kids the more chances for differences to occur. More kids usually means a greater age span between siblings, greater temporal variations in social and cultural influences, differences in parental attention and resources, and the influence of sibling behavior on each other. But, I've noticed that even in small families (siblings=2) there can be tremendous variation. This is most noticeable in the case of fraternal twins. I'm familiar with two families with twin boys. In each the twins are dramatically different from each other in appearance, interests, abilities, and personality. In fact, they seem less like siblings to each other than they do to other siblings in the family.

What made me think about siblings tonight was a comparison of my sons. Both play mallet percussion (marimba, vibes, bells, etc.) Because they are 4 years apart, they have never been in the high school band together, but have led and followed. In our band the mallet players stand to the side, so they are clearly visible to about 1/2 of the audience. Our older son had a very casual performance style. He would saunter up to the instrument, unless he was playing (which he did with intensity) he gave the appearance of being on a Sunday stroll. Our second son is all business. While he has also adopted a somewhat disinterested look, he has a lot more attitude in his playing. He has style and flair. He approaches his task like a professional, spreading out his music across the stands, testing the mallets. When he is done playing the final piece of the night, even if the band has not, he begins to put his music away and clean up. He has done his job for the night, his part is done, time to go. Many parents comment on his style and stage presence. He loves the stage.