Courage to accept

The "Serenity Prayer" is quite well-known:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Most often attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, the prayer was adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous as a guiding mantra. While I won't quibble with the last line, asking for wisdom to distinguish those things that can be changed from those which cannot, I would tinker with the first two lines. 

I imagine most of us think about the first line as an admonishment to let go of the things we can't change, to accept that some things are beyond our control. I most often would apply that to accepting things about others that are beyond my control. I would guess most of us think of those words, too, as being about something negative.  After all, why would we need serenity to accept something positve? 

Lately, though, I've been challenged to look at those words in a different light. Much as I came to an understanding of the idea of sins of omission late in life, I now see that acceptance is not only accepting things in others, but in myself as well. And, not only about accepting the negative, but the positive as well--in both myself and others.  We have strengths and weaknesses, it can be as hard to allow the strengths as to acknowledge the negatives. Which brings me to my quibble--does that require serenity or courage?  Maybe we need courage to accept the things we cannot change. Courage to allow ourselves and others to be who we are.

Now, the second line, courage to change. This must clearly apply to ourselves, after all, how can we change others? We can't. We can change circumstances--feed the poor, heal the sick--but we don't make a fundamental change in others, that can only come from within.  I've been thinking a lot lately about change. Do we really change in our lives, or is it better explained as learning to work around our weaknesses and play to our strengths?  We can try new things--new clothes, new hair, new behaviors, new friends.  Some we may like, some we may discard.  If we adopt a new behavior have we changed? What part of us unchangeable?  

I will admit that some attempts at trying something new will require a certain amount of courage.  It can be scary to venture to the unknown (to the edge). But, maybe there is a certain amount of serenity required, too. A sense that we will be at peace. Maybe confidence is closer to the feeling than courage. 

God, grant me the courage to accept the things I cannot change,
The confidence to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.