Growing Old

I have been running across some very well-worn ideas about aging and death recently. None of these are my own, none are new or novel, but they seem to be coming together in a new confluence of thinking for me. 

At heart, they have to do with the notion of "growing old" as opposed to "getting old."  As someone who has studied various aspects of aging for nearly 25 years, the idea that we age from the moment of birth is not new. But what does it mean to grow old?  Psychologists have their life stage theories, maybe Erikson's theory of psychosocial development is the best known.  His 7th and 8th stages, in which generativity and integrity are the conflicts, deal with aging directly.  At the end of life we should be able to look back in life review and feel good about what we have done or accomplished.

What I find puzzling, though, is the emphasis on looking back, looking to the past for confirmation of who you are and what you have done. Some critics of Erikson point to his emphasis, throughout the life course, on accomplishment.  "Growing" old would encourage, I think, a more forward perspective.

I've also been reading about death and dying as part of my preparation for hospice work.  Some of the focus is on preparing for death, the tasks that some dying people encounter.  These might include making amends, resolving old interpersonal conflicts, or completing some concrete task (knitting a sweater, compiling a photo album).  Narrative gerontology focuses on the life story. The notion that our lives are stories...they have beginnings, middles, and ends. As authors of our lives do we have a goal of creating a tidy ending? tying up all the loose ends of our story and character before closing the book?