Welcome Mats

Many of us have a welcome mat at our front door. Sometimes we also have a little sign hanging on the door or near the door, inviting friends and family to come in. These can be silly and cute, often with pictures of animals, our names, or some play on words. Other times they are simple and direct, "Welcome friends." Recently I heard Anne Basting talk about the Penelope Project, her work to bring creativity and meaning into a nursing home setting (http://penelopeproject.wordpress.com/) . The project is based on the Odyssey, but focuses on Penelope--her waiting. In the story, when Odysseus returns home he is not recognized, but he is welcomed. How? The nursing home residents and theater students developed a beautiful set of gestures to convey the sense of welcome--my heart is open to you, I hear you, I welcome you, your eyes are like stars sparkling in the sky.

It is easy to think of how we might welcome someone into our home. We open the door, hang up their coat, offer them a chair, offer them food and drink. But, perhaps, most of all we make them feel welcome by paying attention to them, asking about their needs and concerns, including them in our conversations and activities. I can remember talking with my sons when they were younger about this idea. I would sometimes see that they left their friends alone while they went off to do something without them. Now, this might work for longtime friends or longterm guests in your home, we all need a little space, but, in general, this is not how we treat a guest in our home.

There are some homes in which I always feel welcomed. There is no pressure on me as a guest to conform to a particular way of being or thinking. There are some friends who seem able to create an atmosphere that is accepting and open without much effort. Other places seem less friendly, less relaxing, more pressured. I think we can learn a lot about ourselves from examining those places in which we feel most welcomed, what are the things we value? Order and cleanliness? Cheerfulness? Hustle and bustle? Calm and quiet?

How do welcome people into our lives in other places and settings? How do I welcome students into my classroom? It isn't really practical to have a welcome mat at the door, but maybe I should try that sometime! In some courses I've played music before class as students settle in, that seems to create a welcoming atmosphere. I often try to chat with students informally as they filter in, to recognize that they have lives other than the one I see in the classroom. I share stories about my life, so that they, too, can see that I have other facets to my life.

Creating welcome mats in all parts of our lives seems a worthwhile investment.