Most of us probably have one, an idol. Someone that we have always admired and looked up, someone we wanted to model our lives after. I'm not talking about the abstract idols, like Michelle Obama (I LOVE her arms!) or Hillary Clinton. I mean a person in our everyday life that we know pretty well---or think we know well.
Growing up there was a girl two years older than me that was my idol. She was smart, beautiful, poised, and respected. I wanted to be just like her, but I was nowhere close. I was smart and respected, maybe poised, but not close to beautiful. She was on the school debate team and was very good. I wanted to be like her. For 35 years I have held this memory of her.
Well, times change, people change, memories are faulty. I met her the other day for the first time since 1973. I don't think she remembered who I was. She is still beautiful, and I assume smart. But the image I had of a poised, confident, self-assured person didn't age well. It made me wonder, was I wrong? Was she never like that, but only appeared that way to me as someone younger? I never really knew her well, so my image was based on this perception and interpretation of what I saw. I could have been wrong. Or she might have been better at putting on a front then. Who knows? I just wonder what younger person from my past would be shocked to see me now! Who have I disappointed?
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