Learning to be Diplomatic

My younger son is learning how to be diplomatic. We went for a haircut today and his barber is a mom (is there a term for a woman barber?) who has a son the same age and in the same school. As she was cutting his hair she started to ask about some of the other boys in that grade, one kid in particular. She wondered what he was like in school, who he hung out with, etc. Evan seemed to answer pretty honestly, although he struggled for some words. For instance, he said, "Well he doesn't seem to try that hard at his schoolwork" (meaning goofs off). Or, "I think the best word to describe his is 'distant'." (meaning has few friends).

Turns out the barber's son and this boy had become friends, but since then her son's grades had dropped. She wondered if he was a "bad influence." She went on to ask about her son, how he got along with others at school, did he have friends, and so on. I could tell Evan was trying to be nice, but honest, at the same time.

On the drive home, he said, "that was kind of an uncomfortable conversation!" I agreed that it was a little difficult, but that often parents want to hear from other kids about what goes on at school. He asked if I thought he had handled it well, I told him I did. He commented, "I was trying to be nice to both Mrs. J and to J." He thought for awhile, and then said, "I wouldn't really say it was fun, but it did make me think a lot. It was kind of tricky to know what to say and I had to concentrate. It was sort of a challenge." I would have to say that he handled it all pretty well, and is well on his way to being a diplomat, especially if he thinks that kind of thinking is fun.