David Bromberg concert

Saturday night my husband and I saw David Bromberg in concert. Now if you are one of my students, you will likely have no idea who this guy is. In fact, if you are one of my friends or a member of my family, you will likely have no idea who this guy is. I learned of his existence in college when my not yet hubby would play his records late at night. He had discovered him a few years earlier. He plays an eclectic blend of music--bluesy, folksy, jazz. If you know the song Mr. Bojangles, that was one of his hits (although not a song he wrote).

David is a BIG man--tall and bear-like. He reminds me of a colleague, Merril Silverstein, a sociologist at USC. He is an amazing guitar/mandolin/fiddle player. But imagine the incongruity of this big Russian Jew, dressed in a Western style white shirt and dress slacks, playing and singing the blues...If you close your eyes you think you are in some Western honkytonk bar. If you cover your ears, you think you are at some ethnic songfest. It was a great concert, complemented by the appearance of his wife and another member of the Angel Band as backup singers. I liked that the concert was a little unscripted, they hadn't decided on all of the songs ahead of time, and there was some good natured banter on stage.
Great evening..

A Winning Smile

I have two sons. The older one is fairly athletic, loves most sports, is pretty coordinated. The younger is not quite so inclined and has, for the most part, avoided team sports. He does play soccer, though, mostly because his older brother has coached him, nurtured him, and encouraged him in the sport. It has been fun to watch the two of them bond over that activity. Despite the coaching, my younger son developed some very bad habits in running. He tended to run hunched over, pushed off from his heels, and had a shuffling gait. I didn't know if this was just a bad habit, the result of an injury or physical problem, or just lack of strength or practice. I finally found a physical therapist who specializes in sports performance and sports injuries. On Monday we had a one hour appointment and he identified the problem as mainly a lack of muscle strength in the lower back and pelvis and weak hamstrings. He prescribed an exercise regime.

Now, I know that not much could change in just a few days, but last night my son did seem to be more comfortable running and look better on the field. Maybe it was just the confidence of the trainer, or a psychological boost of being told he will get better. But the highlight came when, late in the 4th quarter, he scored what turned out to be the winning goal for his team. This is a boy, who as his brother says, sits at the loser table at lunch. He is not part of the "jock" crowd, he's a little nerdy. All of a sudden he is the team hero. The smile that he wore for the rest of the evening was unbeatable. His teammates lifted him up in bear hugs, gave high fives, and he glowed. He walked off the field taller and more confident. It is one of those moments that you want to just bottle up and save. I think no matter what happens the rest of his sports career, he will remember this game. I was so happy to see him with that winning smile.

Out Stealing Horses

Every now and then I read a book that I just can't let go of--Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson is such a book. I read it first about a year ago when the English translation first came out. I just re-read it with my book group. First, I just find the writing very compelling. I like the tone of the story, the style, the choice of words and images. Second, I find many parallels to my own life and my own experiences. The experience of losing a sibling, of dealing with loss, of feeling abandoned and left alone, are all ideas and themes that resonate with me. Although the main character is a man, I can relate to his desire for solitude, his reticence to reach out to others, the way in which he can't quite shake the past. I like the way he describes others knowing only a part of you, that you share only facts, not feelings, that others cannot understand you. I love the sense of Norway. I've always been fascinated with country, since I wrote a report on the country in 6th grade. Visiting there is something I long to do before I die. It is a book I just want to savor over and over. I keep finding new meanings in every sentence each time I read it.

Church Ladies

I went to a show last night, Church Basement Ladies. It was a fun little musical about the women who prepare the church dinners for funerals, weddings and the like. It was set in a small Midwestern town in 1965, so I could really relate to the story. I remember so many of those "church ladies." In fact, my mother was one of them. They were there on Sunday, with their little aprons, making coffee and cake. It was a rite of passage to be invited into the kitchen to help clean up. All the drawers and cabinets were labeled as to their contents, their was a big deep sink, the women would gossip and chatter while they cooked and washed. After my mother's funeral we had a little lunch at the church she had attended for 50 years. The church ladies were there with their macaroni salads, cold cuts, and jello. I know my mom would have appreciated everything they did. I miss that type of comraderie in my life now. There was something very comforting about those women and that kitchen. What is the modern day equivalent?

Fall Weather

The air here in Upstate NY (a place I never knew existed before) is starting to feel autumnly. There are a few leaves changing color and the evenings are cool, but the days are still sunny and warm. It is one of my favorite times of the year. I like being cool at night when I go to bed, but not yet having to wear heavy jackets during the day. I know that this nice weather will soon turn to the winter cold. I wonder if there is a place on earth where it is fall all the time, with sunny, warm days and cool evenings. That is where I would want to live.

White Privilege

In sociology courses we often teach about the concept of "white privilege." Tim Wise has written several books and essays on the topic, here is a link to his take on the current presidential election http://www.timwise.org/ But for convenience, I've just copied it below!

This is Your Nation on White Privilege
By Tim Wise
For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.
White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a “fuckin’ redneck,” like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll “kick their fuckin' ass,” and talk about how you like to “shoot shit” for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re “untested.”


White privilege is being able to say that you support the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance because “if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me,” and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the “under God” part wasn’t added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.


White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.


White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was “Alaska first,” and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.


White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a “second look.”


White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.


White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.


White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a “trick question,” while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.


White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a “light” burden.


And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole “change” thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain…


White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Clothes

I was just chatting with a journalism graduate student. She is writing articles this semester on fashion and wanted to talk about a sociological perspective on fashion. Clearly outside my area of expertise, but what the heck, I can talk about "presentation of self" and "impression management" with the best of them.
I have often been struck with the changing appearance of college students. I see my first year advisees on the weekend before classes start, they have been here about 2 days. They still look pretty freshly scrubbed and well dressed. By Thanksgiving, they are different people. For the most part, their attention to personal appearances has declined. They are more pierced, more colored, more scruffy. The guys have probably not had a haircut since they arrived. But, by senior year, they start to clean up a little bit again. Many now have internships or are interviewing for jobs. They are starting to think about a "grown up" life, and starting to look the part. Those carefree college days are coming to an end....

Smoking

How can anyone still smoke? I've been working on a book chapter about longevity and health. One of the topics I cover is the prospect for future gains in life expectancy in the US and the factors that are retarding those gains. Smoking and obesity are at the top of the list. The health consequences of smoking are SO CLEAR. I can't imagine that we still allow tobacco to be produced in this country. My husband smokes cigars. They smell. The house smells. The car smells. He smells. That is just the aesthetic part. I shudder to think what it is doing to the lungs of my kids. For the most part he keeps it outside, but the weather is turning cooler and the windows will be closing. I don't understand the attraction....or addiction (?)

What Dads do

I've spent a few days alone with the boys while my husband has been visiting his parents. I enjoy the time alone, and this time even the boys left for awhile and I had the WHOLE HOUSE to MYSELF! That does not happen often. The kids and I have had some fun, gotten some work done, spent some time together. The peace and quiet is nice, but we are all ready for Dad to come home. We had no power today, thank you Ike, and I know if Dad had been here it would have been turned into an adventure. Instead, it was just boring. Mom is good for lots of things, but if you really want to have a good time, you need Dad. So, welcome home Dad. We are ready for some excitement.

Parallel thinking

I tend to think in pretty linear way, like to put things in order, line them up. The upside of that way of viewing problems is that you can often spot parallels or intersections--you can see where an order of events in one setting is similar to that in another. Or you can see where two lines of thinking intersect, where their common point is The downside, I would say, is that it is harder to see the branches, the points that move off the line in a curve. I think both ways of thinking lead to creative solutions. In one case, the linear case, you can take information from one problem and apply to another. In the branching case, you can move off the line in a new direction which may, or may not, intersect with another line.

My survival strategy

My survival strategy in life is to learn the rules, do things the “right” way, blend in, etc. I tend to stand on the fringes more, although once I feel comfortable I can be very social and fun. I put a lot of stock in being seen as competent and capable. I put a high value on efficiency and independence. I see those qualities as ones that inspire trust and lead to responsibility, which I like having. I am willing to rebel, and believe that a slight disdain or distrust for authority is healthy, and I’m not easily intimidated, but overall I’m a “by the book” type of person. With things I know how to do, I am fast and efficient, in new situations or circumstances, I want to go slowly.

Deadlines

I work best under pressure, but it has to be "real" pressure, not self-imposed. I wish I was better at pacing my work, but I just never seem able to finish something early. If anything, I stretch deadlines by a few days if possible. I've always admired people who are able to clean off their desk a few days early. I am just meeting one deadline and have one left to meet this month. Then, time for a vacation.

Being the grownup

Who is the grownup when you get old? That is the question I'd liked answered. I find as I age that I take on more the role of "wise elder" to younger colleagues, but who do I get to have as an advisor? I'm still young enough that there are people older than me, but at some point I'll reach the end (front?) of the line, right? My younger siblings turn to me for advice and counsel, to some extent I turn to my older sisters, but who does the oldest get to have as a mother stand-in?

Glory vs. A Pencil Sharpener

My oldest son is a senior in high school. His favorite subjects are math and physics, and he really gets along well with his physics teacher. On the first day of school she gave out a pencil sharpener to the one student (a girl) who had brought in all of her supplies (graph paper, colored pencils, etc.). My son operates on a "just in time" basis, if you need colored pencils tomorrow, buy them tonight, so he wasn't even in the running for the "supply award." But yesterday they started to work on some graphing problems and the teacher put up a graph on the board of two objects and the distance they traveled relative to time. The discussion was which object, A or B, had greater velocity. There was general discussion, and most people, including the teacher, thought the answer was A. A glance at the key, however, showed that the velocities were equal. After a little hemming and hawing, the teacher didn't have a good explanation for that result. Doug raised his hand and pointed out that one object started at a different time than the other, that must be the key, and if you drew a line from that point it would be parallel to the other (this all made a LOT more sense with the graph in front of me!).
The teacher exclaimed, "Great answer, you are exactly right!"
My son replied, "Can I get a pencil sharpener, too?"
"No."
"How about a pencil, or a piece of candy?"
"No, you only get the glory."

"Glory, that is worthless, I would rather have the pencil sharpener!"

What would the world be like if people really preferred pencil sharpeners over glory?

Last First Day

Today was my older son's Last First Day of School. Thirteen years ago he got on the big yellow bus for the first time. I cried. Today he and his younger brother hopped in the car and pulled out of the driveway. I didn't cry. He is ready, I am ready, it is time for him to start out on his own life. When you send a kid to kindergarten you worry if the teacher will understand them, see their uniqueness, value their differentness. When you send a kid to his last year of high school you worry if they will understand others, see the unique qualities of their teachers, and value their experience. It really is a shift away from seeing your child as the center of the world to hoping that they realize that they are not.

The Family (torture) Picnic

Every few months I put my foot down and require that we all go on a "family picnic." This usually requires a time committment of about 4-5 hours, that includes the commute. We pack a light lunch, drive to a park, eat, walk for an hour or so, and drive home. You'd think I was taking the boys to Gitmo. They whine, they complain, they sulk, but they go. And somewhere about halfway to the park they start to turn. The whines become more teasing, the sulking becomes more of an act. After the meal they trudge dutifully down a path, then spot a deer or chipmunk, or hear a woodpecker and search the trees. Gradually they let down their guard and seem to enjoy themselves. Of course all the way home I hear again about the torture I've inflicted (and usually they bring up any other recent events to bolster their argument that my goal in life is to make them miserable.) But the evenings after these trips are always a little more friendly and calm. The extra exercise and fresh air has done everyone good, including me.