Welcome Mats

Many of us have a welcome mat at our front door. Sometimes we also have a little sign hanging on the door or near the door, inviting friends and family to come in. These can be silly and cute, often with pictures of animals, our names, or some play on words. Other times they are simple and direct, "Welcome friends." Recently I heard Anne Basting talk about the Penelope Project, her work to bring creativity and meaning into a nursing home setting (http://penelopeproject.wordpress.com/) . The project is based on the Odyssey, but focuses on Penelope--her waiting. In the story, when Odysseus returns home he is not recognized, but he is welcomed. How? The nursing home residents and theater students developed a beautiful set of gestures to convey the sense of welcome--my heart is open to you, I hear you, I welcome you, your eyes are like stars sparkling in the sky.

It is easy to think of how we might welcome someone into our home. We open the door, hang up their coat, offer them a chair, offer them food and drink. But, perhaps, most of all we make them feel welcome by paying attention to them, asking about their needs and concerns, including them in our conversations and activities. I can remember talking with my sons when they were younger about this idea. I would sometimes see that they left their friends alone while they went off to do something without them. Now, this might work for longtime friends or longterm guests in your home, we all need a little space, but, in general, this is not how we treat a guest in our home.

There are some homes in which I always feel welcomed. There is no pressure on me as a guest to conform to a particular way of being or thinking. There are some friends who seem able to create an atmosphere that is accepting and open without much effort. Other places seem less friendly, less relaxing, more pressured. I think we can learn a lot about ourselves from examining those places in which we feel most welcomed, what are the things we value? Order and cleanliness? Cheerfulness? Hustle and bustle? Calm and quiet?

How do welcome people into our lives in other places and settings? How do I welcome students into my classroom? It isn't really practical to have a welcome mat at the door, but maybe I should try that sometime! In some courses I've played music before class as students settle in, that seems to create a welcoming atmosphere. I often try to chat with students informally as they filter in, to recognize that they have lives other than the one I see in the classroom. I share stories about my life, so that they, too, can see that I have other facets to my life.

Creating welcome mats in all parts of our lives seems a worthwhile investment.

Sleep

Today's Chronicle of Higher Education had this headline for a story, "Students With Later Classes Get More Sleep, but Also More Booze and Lower Grades." The study, conducted by psychologists right here in Upstate New York at St. Lawrence University examined students class schedules, sleep schedules, mood, and substance abuse. They found that students who stay up late get more sleep, but they also drink more and get slightly lower grades than students who get up earlier. Intrigued, I went to the study abstract.

First, note the difference in titles. The "academic" title is: "Class Start Times, Sleep Schedule, and Circadian Preference: Preliminary Path Analysis Predicting Academic Performance in College Students." Now, which story are you more likely to want to read? The one about booze or the one about path analysis???? Anyway, what I found interesting is that the motivation for this study stems from the previous studies of high school students that found later school start times were reatled to decreased truancy and improved mood. Was the same true for college students?

The results confuse me. The researchers report that later class times were associated with delayed sleep times (ok, that makes sense). But they go on to say this was related to more missed classes, too. So, students were missing their classes even though they started later. I also found their discussion of night owls and late class times confusing. Which is more important--circadian preference or class schedule? Someone could be a night owl and have early classes--bad mix, or be a morning person and have later classes--maybe not as bad. Guess I'll have to wait for the full study to really understand what they did.

A little more on weeding...

I just had to do a little googling....

Here's a good "bad weed" quote....let's get rid of those cravings and ruminations!

"What is essential to practice the Tao is to get rid of cravings and vexations. If these afflictions are not removed, it is impossible to attain stability. This is like the case of the fertile field, which cannot produce good crops as long as the weeds are not cleared away. Cravings and ruminations are the weeds of the mind; if you do not clear them away, concentration and wisdom do not develop."- Chang San-feng, legendary founder of T'ai Chi Ch'uan, circa 1300 A.D.

AH, weeding as Zen...let's meditate on life's goodness while we sweat and the bugs bite and we are tired and hungry....

"People who spend a great deal of time in their gardens attest to the natural mindfulness that gardening requires. What could be more naturally mindful than weeding? It requires a great deal of sustained attention. Weeds need to be taken up with care: Pull too hard, and the weed breaks in your fingers, leaving the root to grow and spread. Different weeds need different techniques and, sometimes, tools. When we weed our gardens, we have to pay attention to where and how we walk and bend. Move too far in one direction or another, and we'll squash growing things."- Sura Lama Das, Awakening to the Sacred

Let's compare these two quotes...are weeds healthy rebels or the sign of a weak character???

"A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows."- Doug Larson

"A person's character and their garden both reflect the amount of weeding that was done during the growing season."- Author Unknown

The balanced view, I'm liking you Carol, whoever you are....

"My garden is a balancing act between weeds and wonders. Though I started out as a frustrated perfectionist, over the years I've learned how to enjoy my garden rather than feel enslaved by it, thanks to a growing know-how and a change in mindset."- Carol Stocker

Weeding

I did some weeding in the flowerbeds today. Not one of my favorite tasks. There are some to claim that weeding is therapeutic or relaxing. I guess there is a sense of accomplishment, you can look at a clean area and see what you have done. But the work is tedious. On a hot day it is downright uncomfortable--sitting in the dirt or bending over, flies biting, sweat dripping...where's the relaxation?

I've seen some poems written about weeding, about the joys of pulling out the bad to make way for the growth of the good. I've seen analogies to life situations, about the need to kill the bad weeds so the good flowers can grow. There is a house down the road where the lawn is not mown all summer. The grass and weeds grow happily together and, from the road at least, it all looks green and healthy. Maybe a few weeds in the mix is not so bad after all. Maybe letting a few errant plants have their time in the sun makes the other flowers look even better.

Fortunately, after I finished weeding I was able to take a cold drink and sit in the shade with a book, and admire my clean flowerbed--although I did spot the smallest of weeds still there.

Isolation

There was a very sad story in our local news today. The report was of a young single mother found dead in her apartment along with her 2 month old child. The mother died of natural causes, as did, apparently, the infant. The two had last been seen a few weeks ago at a family gathering. The mother was on maternity leave, so no employer reported her absence. She didn't respond to family calls, but individual family members didn't connect their multiple missed attempts to contact her.

So, it makes me think, who would notice if I went missing? Of course, in my situation, many people would notice. But, for how many people is an absence of a week or two simply not something worth noting? In the summer or winter we often hear public health officials asking us to check on elderly neighbors or those living alone. In times of natural disasters or extreme weather we might be more conscious of the activities of our friends, family and neighbors. But, in the spring? How long could we overlook the absence of a neighbor? the lack of contact with a family member? when would an absence be cause of concern?

Graduation

I've just finished a full weekend of graduation activities. We start on Friday evening with the doctoral hooding ceremony. Those receiving PhDs receive their academic hoods from their advisors. I didn't have any student finishing this year, but attended as associate dean. It is an exciting evening for students who have worked long to finish their degrees. There is an obligatory explanation of the origins of the gown and hood, complete with the reason for the small pouch at the end of the hood (to hold a favorite beverage). The hooding ceremony is followed by a reception with good food and a full bar!

Saturday morning starts with the Arts and Sciences undergraduate convocation. This is held in the Dome and every student has their name read while they walk across the stage and have a handshake with the Dean. It takes a long time to read hundreds of names...I admire the readers who have to handle difficult pronunciations on the fly. Students fill out a card with their name and a phonetic guide. Some with names like "Russell Jones" provide detailed guides, while others with names like "Shanaquina Abaramdamblartokov" provide little direction. The readers have about 1 second to make a decision and then have to plow forward best they can.

This is followed by a reception for family back in the academic buildings. These are crowded noisy affairs when, as faculty, we try to remember the names of students who introduce us to their parents. Many faces look familiar, but names often are long gone. Still, there is usually a student who I really remember and whose family I want to meet. As a parent I've become increasingly aware of the importance of recognizing parents and telling them, personally, how much I enjoyed their child.

Saturday afternoon is our convocation for Masters students. I don't usually attend this event, but this year, as associate dean I was the master of ceremonies. A somewhat more difficult job given that I've never attended myself! These students are older, often from other countries. The biggest event is picture taking. They want their picture taken with everyone and everywhere. If you have a robe on, you get a picture. It is a fun and spirited group.

Finally, Sunday morning is the grand commencment in the Dome. It takes over an hour to seat all of the students. This year I was a marshall, which meant I was responsible for keeping the lines moving, walking young ladies to the bathrooms, and maintaining decorum. The decorum part is hard as the beachballs and balloons start to emerge. I know students are excited, but interupting their own student speaker seemed a little crass.

I didn't attend my college or graduate school graduations. It seemed a little anti-climatic. In both cases I finished in the summer and would have had to come back in May for the ceremonies. By then I was working and far away from college both physically and emotionally. I look back and don't feel that I missed much. Even though I am big on ceremony and ritual, I don't feel slighted. I wonder about the kids who were in the Dome today, what will they remember of this event, what message will they take away with them?

Grades are in

I just submitted my grades for this semester. Over time I've gotten over the guilt associated with a student who misses a higher grade by a fraction of a point. I grade each item as it comes along during the year and tally the results at the end. If I were to go back and examine each student's work again it would be difficult to be fair, I think.

As a student I used to calculate where I stood in a class before finals week. If I knew that basically no matter what I did I would still receive a B in a class, for instance, I tended to focus my studying on other classes where there was a chance of getting a better grade. There were a few times when I was surprised, in both directions, getting a better or worse grade than expected.

I don't know when I'll be teaching the population issues class again. I enjoy it and have fun teaching it. I'd like to develop a graduate level course on the same topic, perhaps geared towards the International Relations students. How can you understand current global issues if you don't understand the demographic forces at work?