Demarcations

 I've been thinking lately of how we move from one state of being to another.  Sometimes the timing of hte change is very discrete--a marriage, birth of a child, starting a job.  But what about the changes that are not so clearly marked.

Ten weeks ago I had a major surgery.  I got differing advice on how long it would take to "recover."  Some said one week for every hour of surgery, some said one month for every hour.  The doctor said I'd feel better "in a few months."  At first, I was clearly recovering. I was tired, experiencing some discomfort, adjusting to changes in my body.  But, when do I say I'm "recovered"?  I have friends who have experienced addiction, either themselves or through a loved one.  In that field you can hear people describe themselves as a "recovering addict" for the rest of their lives.  I understand there is a difference between that experience and mine, but when do I stop thinking of myself as "recovering" and switch to "recovered"? 

I think there must be other states that have similarly murky boundaries. When do you really become a parent? When do you really become an adult? When does grief end?  When do you fall in or out of love? 

How do any of us know where we are??!!

And why did Spain and Portugal get to decide??