Flawed children

I was listening to an interview today with Andrew Solomon, author of a new book, "Far from the Tree."  In the book he interviews parents who have children very unlikely them--children with disabilities, children who are criminals, children conceived in rape, children who are prodigies.  He asks the question, how do we help children be who they are?  As well as, how do we, as parents, accept children for who they are?  I haven't read the book, although I've read a few reviews and essays from the book or about the book.  Here are three things I found interesting in the interview.

1. He wanted to talk to one set of parents, who's child had committed a horrendous crime.  He said that they were reluctant to tell their story, but once they started, "they were so full of their story it was overflowing."  What a great description of the breaking down of that logjam and the opening up of the storytelling.  To be "overflowing" with a story.  How lucky they were to find someone able to hold onto their words.

2. We, parents, all love flawed children.  None of our kids are perfect.  It is, from the Christian perspective, the kind of love we receive from God.  We are flawed, but still precious to God and loved by God.

3. He mentioned an essay I had heard before, about raising a child with Down Syndrome.  It is not what we expected.  The essay talks about how we get on a plane expecting to go to Italy when we conceive a child. But, sometimes, we end up in the Netherlands instead.  We could spend all our time regretting not being in Italy, but then we would miss all the  beauty of the Dutch country.  A good lesson for many other aspects of life--this is where we are, appreciate it for what it is, rather than lamenting what it is not.