I was struck by a recent story of a unique father-daughter bond. Starting when she was in 4th grade, this single dad read to his daughter for 10 minutes every night until she started college. Wow! They never missed a night. Sometimes this meant that the dad had to drive to play practice to read during rehearsals, sometimes daughter had to come home in the middle of a date to be read to, sometimes Dad had to come home in the middle of a date to read, sometimes the reading took place over the phone.
As a parent, many of my fondest memories are of reading to my children. Starting as infants with board books and lift the flap books, moving to the Boxcar children and Will Hobbs stories, and onto the Harry Potter series. We read Harry Potter traveling through France and Arizona. I love to read out loud, to convey the story's message with my voice. I like sharing the excitement and thrill of stories.
As a sociologist, I tend to think about the rituals we incorporate into our lives and their meanings. This is a very individual ritual, it involved only these two individuals and was uniquely their own. What meaning did it hold for them? It began as a way for the father and daughter to maintain contact as the family structure changed. It reinforces the understanding that children desire some consistency and structure in their lives.
As an adult, I think this also tells us something about goals and rules. Children want to know what to expect and what is expected from them. As I go through staff performance reviews I think about those same needs in adults. We tend to perform better if we know the rules and expectations, but also if we have some goals, something to work towards.
Having rituals in life provides order, but they can also provide excitement and fulfillment. I'm thinking I would like to institute more rituals into my life.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/21/fashion/21GenB.html
A Father-Daughter Bond, Page by Page
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