Saying "No"

I want to make it clear at the beginning that I do believe that in cases of sexual conduct, if a man or woman, boy or girl, says "no" then that means no, no matter what...

But, what about the more everyday "no." When does a no mean no and when does it mean something else? Or when should we say no and really mean it and when should we say yes? In raising kids you soon learn that when they say "no" that isn't always what they mean. Your job as parent is to figure out when to push and when to pull back. I'm sure there are times when I've let my kids quit and say no, when I should have pushed them on. I'm sure there are times when I've pushed my kids and should have let them quit. It is a tough call. Some kids approach almost any new situation with the word "no." I think they are often afraid, afraid they will fail, afraid they will be embarrassed. It is much safer to not even try. Figuring out when that is happening can be hard. When is something really too hard, or too unagreeable?

Saying 'no' can be very powerful and a valuable lesson to learn. Toddlers practice the power of that word, to the frustration of their parents. But along the way we may forget how to say "no." I vowed not to accept another request to write a book chapter, but no sooner had I said "never again" than I said "yes." I should have said no.