What Dads do

I've spent a few days alone with the boys while my husband has been visiting his parents. I enjoy the time alone, and this time even the boys left for awhile and I had the WHOLE HOUSE to MYSELF! That does not happen often. The kids and I have had some fun, gotten some work done, spent some time together. The peace and quiet is nice, but we are all ready for Dad to come home. We had no power today, thank you Ike, and I know if Dad had been here it would have been turned into an adventure. Instead, it was just boring. Mom is good for lots of things, but if you really want to have a good time, you need Dad. So, welcome home Dad. We are ready for some excitement.

Parallel thinking

I tend to think in pretty linear way, like to put things in order, line them up. The upside of that way of viewing problems is that you can often spot parallels or intersections--you can see where an order of events in one setting is similar to that in another. Or you can see where two lines of thinking intersect, where their common point is The downside, I would say, is that it is harder to see the branches, the points that move off the line in a curve. I think both ways of thinking lead to creative solutions. In one case, the linear case, you can take information from one problem and apply to another. In the branching case, you can move off the line in a new direction which may, or may not, intersect with another line.

My survival strategy

My survival strategy in life is to learn the rules, do things the “right” way, blend in, etc. I tend to stand on the fringes more, although once I feel comfortable I can be very social and fun. I put a lot of stock in being seen as competent and capable. I put a high value on efficiency and independence. I see those qualities as ones that inspire trust and lead to responsibility, which I like having. I am willing to rebel, and believe that a slight disdain or distrust for authority is healthy, and I’m not easily intimidated, but overall I’m a “by the book” type of person. With things I know how to do, I am fast and efficient, in new situations or circumstances, I want to go slowly.

Deadlines

I work best under pressure, but it has to be "real" pressure, not self-imposed. I wish I was better at pacing my work, but I just never seem able to finish something early. If anything, I stretch deadlines by a few days if possible. I've always admired people who are able to clean off their desk a few days early. I am just meeting one deadline and have one left to meet this month. Then, time for a vacation.

Being the grownup

Who is the grownup when you get old? That is the question I'd liked answered. I find as I age that I take on more the role of "wise elder" to younger colleagues, but who do I get to have as an advisor? I'm still young enough that there are people older than me, but at some point I'll reach the end (front?) of the line, right? My younger siblings turn to me for advice and counsel, to some extent I turn to my older sisters, but who does the oldest get to have as a mother stand-in?

Glory vs. A Pencil Sharpener

My oldest son is a senior in high school. His favorite subjects are math and physics, and he really gets along well with his physics teacher. On the first day of school she gave out a pencil sharpener to the one student (a girl) who had brought in all of her supplies (graph paper, colored pencils, etc.). My son operates on a "just in time" basis, if you need colored pencils tomorrow, buy them tonight, so he wasn't even in the running for the "supply award." But yesterday they started to work on some graphing problems and the teacher put up a graph on the board of two objects and the distance they traveled relative to time. The discussion was which object, A or B, had greater velocity. There was general discussion, and most people, including the teacher, thought the answer was A. A glance at the key, however, showed that the velocities were equal. After a little hemming and hawing, the teacher didn't have a good explanation for that result. Doug raised his hand and pointed out that one object started at a different time than the other, that must be the key, and if you drew a line from that point it would be parallel to the other (this all made a LOT more sense with the graph in front of me!).
The teacher exclaimed, "Great answer, you are exactly right!"
My son replied, "Can I get a pencil sharpener, too?"
"No."
"How about a pencil, or a piece of candy?"
"No, you only get the glory."

"Glory, that is worthless, I would rather have the pencil sharpener!"

What would the world be like if people really preferred pencil sharpeners over glory?

Last First Day

Today was my older son's Last First Day of School. Thirteen years ago he got on the big yellow bus for the first time. I cried. Today he and his younger brother hopped in the car and pulled out of the driveway. I didn't cry. He is ready, I am ready, it is time for him to start out on his own life. When you send a kid to kindergarten you worry if the teacher will understand them, see their uniqueness, value their differentness. When you send a kid to his last year of high school you worry if they will understand others, see the unique qualities of their teachers, and value their experience. It really is a shift away from seeing your child as the center of the world to hoping that they realize that they are not.